How to Change Mindset in a Coaching Session

Last week I emailed you about why mindset is everything…

…for you as a coach…

…for your clients…

…and for your coaching business.

The point was that helping your clients manage their state of mind…

…is 80% of coaching.

How is this ‘state of mind’ defined?

It’s a “constellation” of:

Thoughts…

Your thoughts about what is happening at the moment.

Beliefs…

• Your underlying beliefs about what you deem to be true.
• The operating beliefs that govern your focus in the moment.

Physiology…

• Your current use of your body.
• How your body is working or not working.
• Whether your muscles are tight or relaxed.
• Whether your heart is beating slowly or quickly.
• Your circulation, your digestive state, disease, pain, etc.

You can alter your state of mind by changing any one of these three “stars”.

Alter one star…

…and you change the entire constellation.

For example:

What happens if you are tired and drink a cup of coffee?

Caffeine stimulates your brain…

…which makes you feel more alert.

So, in that case your physiology (biochemistry) changed your thoughts.

But what if you’re drinking decaf and don’t know it?

Can you feel more alert because you believe you’re consuming caffeine?

Surprisingly… yes.

That’s because your thoughts and beliefs can powerfully change your physiology.

Last week I changed my physical body with nothing but my thoughts.

I was having trouble sleeping, so I called a friend.

She said:

“Just tell yourself to go to sleep.”

I asked:

“Just say to myself, ‘Go to sleep’?”

It sounded ridiculous.

But that night I tried it…

…only half believing it would work.

After telling myself, “Go to sleep” about 5 times…

…in a kind and loving manner…

…I woke up the next morning.

IT WORKED!

My thoughts had radically changed my physiology.

So…

• Whatever you believe impacts your thoughts and physiology
• Whatever you think impacts your physiology and beliefs
• However you use your body impacts your thoughts and beliefs

Change one…

…and you alter the entire constellation of your state of mind.

Change one…

…and you change them all.

Here’s HOW it works, and how to use it with your clients.

5 Steps to Creating a Powerful State of Mind

1. Identify what your client wants to accomplish.

This can be something they want to achieve, to feel, or to become.

2. Identify what is holding them back from achieving what they want.

This is hard for most clients, as our first knee-jerk reaction is to think of some external obstacle. Although some external things might seem to be stopping your client, concentrating on that just puts them in victim mode.

Instead, look for something INSIDE YOUR CLIENT that is stopping them…

For example, is it…

• a thought?
• a belief?
• something about their physiology?

Is it something permanent, or can it be changed? (Hint: Realizing it can be changed will help your client transition to the next step.)

3. Decide how your client will change their state.

Will they:

Change their thoughts?

• If so, they could focus on a thought that will support their new state of mind.
• For the example of falling asleep, I used the thought “Go to sleep” whenever I caught myself thinking about things that were keeping me awake.

Change their beliefs?

• Help your client choose a belief that will support them.
• For example: What do they already believe to be true about the situation?
• When times are tough, my personal favorites include: “I can learn new things” or “This too will pass.”

Change their physiology?

• If your client skipped a meal, their body may need fuel.
• If they’re sleepy, perhaps they could use a nap or to get up and move their body so they improve circulation.

4. Get them to DO IT…

Simple enough, but it needs saying.

Knowing and doing are two different things.

Tell your client to actually make these changes (ideally DURING their coaching session!).

5. Celebrate!

Acknowledge your client for overcoming the obstacle, and support them in determining what is possible from this new perspective.

Ask your client,

“Who are you becoming that allowed you to make the change?”

That’s it. Five steps and you’re done.

I can do these 5 steps in a 30 minute coaching session with time to spare.

As you practice this with your clients…

…in different situations…

…it will get easier.

You will become a master at managing mindset…

…and how to get the mind and body to perform in a peak state of mind.

And that is 80% of accomplishing anything you want to achieve…

…for yourself…

…and your clients.

Colette “Coaching Your Constellation” Coiner

Dr. Colette Coiner, PCC, PT, DPT, FAAOMPT

Associate Dean, Master Coach University